If I should fall behind
by CPD5021George
Summary: We're always gonna be good. No, Jay and Hailey wouldn't always be good. After a fight, Jay leaves for an undercover mission. Hailey stays behind, feeling guilty and alone. Very much Upstead
1. Chapter 1

**Your more than generous feedback has motivated me to write more Upstead stories. It's been so much fun - I hope you enjoy this one. Thank you **

_Today_

„We're always gonna be good."

These words kept haunting Hailey. No, they weren't always gonna be good. And it was her fault. She had driven her partner away, her best friend. She, Hailey, had hurt him so bad that he was gone, God knows for how long. He had been gone for almost two weeks now, gone deep undercover, stepped away for an undisclosed time, because he couldn't stand being around her. And everyone knew. The way everyone looked at her, avoided her, made it clear that they held her responsible. She had never felt so lost, so alone, so ashamed. She didn't know what she could do to make things better. If there was anything she could do. Would Jay ever forgive her?

* * *

_Two weeks earlier_

Hailey kicked and punched the offender. The small white man was lying on the ground, trying to cover his face with his hands, and Hailey kicked him again and again. Face, stomach, groin. wherever she could reach him. This man had abused and molested several kids, and the case was too close to home. She couldn't stop herself.

Suddenly two hands grabbed her from behind, pulled her away, held her tight. Jay Halstead, her partner, her friend.

"Hailey, stop!" he yelled, while she was still kicking and screaming. She managed to escape his grip, continued kicking the suspect, and when she felt Jay's hand on her shoulder, she turned around and punched Jay in the face.

"Go away!" she yelled. "Why do you want to protect this bastard? You aren't better than him, you use women as punching bags, too. You and all men! Go away! You just pretend to be different!"

Jay froze, more shocked than physically hurt. His eyes widened, his hands dropped. He turned around and walked away.

That was the last time they spoke.

The case had been getting her all along. The small, seemingly helpless many, who had molested and abused several kids. She had wanted to get him desperately.

Whenever Jay had tried to calm her down, to help her see the case more rationally, to not let her emotions take the lead, she had reacted badly. She had yelled at him numerous times, had told him in very clear words that he should keep his distance, should leave her alone, that he wouldn't understand a bit. So far, he had always reacted calmly, had backed off but stayed and was there for her, whenever she needed him.

Not this time. This time he left without a word, before Hailey could come back to her senses, could tell him that she hadn't meant what she said, that she was sorry, that she needed him in her life.

Why do you always hurt the ones most that care for you the most? Because you think they will always understand, that will always be there?

Not this time.

* * *

The next day when Hailey arrived at work, the door to Voight's office was closed. She was there early, she desperately wanted to talk to Jay, to make amends. She hadn't slept at all and felt like hell.

When the door opened, Jay came out. He saw her, but didn't approach her, didn't look at her. He just grabbed his things and left.

"Jay!" she yelled. He didn't react.

"Jay!" louder.

Jay went down the stairs and was gone. Hailey jumped up, wanted to follow him, but Voight was there, held her back.

"No, Hailey." He said, calm but assertive. "Don't."

"But, Sarge…"

"Hailey, no. Jay won't be here for a while. He's going on a deep undercover mission."

"Because of me?" she meekly asked, tears welling up in her eyes.

Voight just looked at her.

"But… but I need to…"

"There is nothing to do now, Hailey." Voight said. "Do your job. We'll see about the rest."

"Copy that," Hailey answered very quietly.

* * *

_Today_

The last two weeks had been worse than Hailey would ever have imagined. She would never have thought that losing a partner would hit her that hard. But she knew she had lost Jay, because of how she had treated him. This is what made it worse. She had behaved like a madwoman, and Jay had taken the consequences. She couldn't blame him. Not for leaving, not for not giving her a chance to tell him how sorry she was.

She had no idea how she could go on, how she could stay in Intelligence without him. When everyone clearly blamed her.

Jay was gone, and everyone probably expected her to find a new unit before he came back. But how could she leave Intelligence? It was her family. She hadn't been with Intelligence as long as Jay, but still it was her home. She had to find a way to make things good again. She just had to.

At the moment she was partnered up with Kim, who didn't have a new partner yet after Antonio had left the unit. The partnership didn't go well, as could be expected. Kim, just like Kevin and Adam, held Hailey responsible for Jay's disappearance. They worked together, and professionally it was acceptable, but the two of them didn't exchange any personal or friendly words.

Whenever Hailey tried to tell Kim how sorry she was, Kim didn't let her speak, she was too angry with Hailey.

Kevin just kept his distance.

Adam – she sometimes caught Adam looking at her, sad and disbelieving. Hailey had hoped that perhaps he would understand a bit, or at least that he would let her try to explain. But he didn't. He just kept looking at her with this sadness in his eyes, as if trying to find the woman he once dated. As if he had never known her.

Voight kept out of it all. Hailey knew, he also blamed her, but he was the boss, and he kept all conversation to a minimum, expected the rest of the unit to work and keep personal issues outside.

The only person that talked kind of normally with Hailey was Trudy Platt. The desk Sergeant didn't show the same amount of anger towards her as the others. Not that she was super-friendly and caring, but that wouldn't be like her anyway. But at least she talked to Hailey, they sometimes exchanged a private word.

* * *

The day dragged along, didn't seem to end. Hailey didn't mind. Going home, spending the night alone, feeling sorry for herself, drinking too much wine, wasn't something to look forward to. When work was finally done, she slowly walked downstairs, eyes focused on the ground.

"Detective Upton!" she heard Sergeant Platt call her.

Slowly Hailey moved towards her.

"Detective Upton, a word," Trudy pointed at the currently empty room next to the entrance.

Hailey shrugged and slowly made her way over. Trudy came after her, shut the door.

"Sit down!" she said.

Hailey obeyed. It didn't matter anyway. She stared at the floor.

"Hailey, do you want to stay with Intelligence?" Trudy asked insistently.

"Sure." Quietly.

"Do you want to stay with Intelligence?"

Hailey finally looked at Trudy. "Yes, of course." A bit louder.

"Then stop feeling sorry for yourself and do something!"

As if that were so easy. "What exactly should I do? The others avoid me, they know it's my fault that Jay is gone. They won't forgive me. They expect me to leave before Jay's back."

"Did anyone say that?"

Hailey shook her head. "Not with words, but with how they look at me, how they act around me."

"Again, stop feeling sorry for yourself. Talk to Sergeant Voight, talk to your team. They all care for you. But you have to take the first step."

Trudy looked at Hailey, her compassion hidden almost too well. "Now go home and think about what you can do. They are waiting for you."

"But Jay!"

"There's nothing you can do about Jay right now. Worry about him when the time comes."

Hailey nodded, her heart heavy. "I wish..."

"I know. But if you don't do something real soon, you will be gone. And I know that's not what you want, or what the unit wants." Trudy's voice became a bit softer. "Now go home." With that she stood up and left the room.

Hailey sat there for a few more minutes, let it sink in. She still felt horrible, but there seemed to be a tiny spark of hope. Perhaps everything was not lost?


	2. Chapter 2

The next morning Hailey came to work with the clear intention to do something about the situation. Fate was on her side, for the moment. No new case, everyone was doing paperwork, catching up on old cases. Voight was in his office, reading something on his computer. Hailey just threw her jacket over her chair and headed straight for Voight's office.

"Sarge, do you have a minute?"

Voight looked up, surprised, but not angry. Just curious. "Sure, come in."

"Thank you, Sarge."

Hailey sat down, trying to keep her composure. She coughed, trying to find the courage.

"What is it, Detective?" Voight looked at her, eyebrows raised.

"Sarge, I... I want to apologize. I behaved terribly, I made a huge mistake, and now everyone hates me and wants me to leave. And... and I don't want to leave."

"So what is this about? About your misery?" Voight asked sharply. "Because in that case I don't want to hear it."

"No, Sarge," she quickly said. "I want to apologize to you, to the whole unit. I hurt Jay terribly, drove him away, and Intelligence isn't what it used to be, because of me. I decided that I need therapy to work on these issues, which caused me to attack Jay. And I will do that. I am so sorry, and I want to do everything to get our unit back."

Voight looked at her with this familiar curious look on his face.

"I am sorry, Sarge. I am so sorry." Hailey repeated.

"Apology accepted, Hailey," Voight answered. "And no – we don't want you to leave Intelligence. If we had wanted that, you'd be long gone. Everyone has been waiting for you to step up. Yes, Jay left on his UC assignment because of what happened, but that was his decision. He needs time."

"I wish he hadn't left so quickly. I want to tell him so badly how sorry I am, how wrong I was."

"Well, that's not possible right now."

"I don't blame him. It's entirely my fault. Sarge, do you know where he is? Can you contact him?"

"No, Hailey, I don't." Voight replied calmly. "This will have to wait. Hailey, I need you back as a fully functioning member of the unit, so do something about that. The guys are waiting." Voight stood up and put a hand on her shoulder. Hailey flinched, surprised. She nodded.

"Thank you, Sarge."

She exhaled audibly, relieved that part one had worked out relatively well. Hailey left Voight's office, stood in the doorway, cleared her throat. Now to part two.

Three heads rose, three pairs of eyes looked at her.

"Guys, I need to talk to you," she said, cleared her throat again, swallowed hard. "Kim, Adam, Kevin. I want to apologize. I am sorry for what I did. I am sorry for how I treated Jay, for driving him away. I am sorry for how I treated you during that case. I am sorry for not talking to you earlier. Please forgive me."

Kim, Adam and Kevin looked at her, processing her words. It wasn't easy for either of them.

"Guys, you are my family," Hailey pleaded, tears welling up. "I don't expect you to forget what happened, but please give me a chance."

Still silence. After what seemed like an eternity to Hailey, Kim got up, approached her, and simply pulled Hailey into an embrace.

"Of course I forgive you," she said.

Hailey was so relieved that it was Kim out of all to make this step. She clung to Kim, didn't even notice the tears that were falling now.

She barely noticed that Kevin and Adam approached and each put a hand on her shoulders. Kim slowly pulled back, and now it was Adam's turn to take her in his arms.

"I forgive you too, Hailey. We will be fine. And Jay will be too."

_How does he know?_ Hailey briefly thought. _Of course he knew._

At last it was Kevin's turn. "We're good, girl," he just said.

"Guys, thank you so much." Hailey said after what seemed a long time. Meanwhile Voight was in the office too, watched the scene unfold.

"Guys, I know things won't be back to normal automatically. I was completely out of line, I harmed the unit. And I don't expect you to ignore that. But I will do all I can. I will go to therapy, work on my issues. And I will get Jay back. Because Intelligence is his unit, much more than mine."

* * *

Hailey felt so relieved that she wasn't an outcast anymore. Of course things were still a bit awkward, the last two weeks didn't magically disappear from everyone's mind. But they did their best to move on. Hailey signed up for therapy, had her first session shortly after. Just like her apology, this wasn't anything that would improve things automatically, but it was a step in the right direction.

* * *

A few days later, Trudy Platt called Hailey's desk. "Upton, do you have a minute?"

"Sure, Sarge," Hailey answered. "I'll be downstairs in a second."

The lobby was empty, except for Trudy, when Hailey approached her.

"Hailey, come here," Trudy said, quietly.  
"Sure, what can I do for you?"

"Hailey, I might have heard something that could interest you."

"You know where..."

Trudy shook her head. "Now, I might have heard that a certain detective works undercover for Organized Crime. You might want to talk to Sergeant Lopez over at 28th."

Hailey grabbed Trudy's hand. "Thank..."

Trudy shook her head once more. "If you ever mention this to anyone, I will deny any knowledge. Now go. Sergeant Lopez is in the office today."

Hailey nodded. She hurried upstairs, quickly asked Voight if she could step out for an hour, and was on her way to 28th within minutes.

* * *

She knew the 28th precinct, therefore she found Sergeant Lopez easily.

"Sergeant Lopez, I'm Detective Hailey Upton from Intelligence," she introduced herself to the tall, energetic 40-something woman. "Could we have a word please?"

"Sure. What can I do for you?"

They went into her office; Hailey shut the door.

"Sergeant, I heard that Detective Halstead works an undercover assignment for your team?"

Lopez didn't react, just looked at Hailey. _She knows_, Hailey understood immediately, _she knows what happened_.

"Sergeant, I need to talk to Jay, it's very important."

"Detective, even if Detective Halstead worked for us at the moment, we couldn't give away his location. Our detectives work deep undercover, with very limited contact to the unit."

"I'm sorry, I know," Hailey hurried to say. "But, if you talk to him, could you please give him a message from me?"

Still no reaction.

"Could you please tell him, that I'm very sorry, I want to apologize for what I did. And he needs to come back to Intelligence. Please, tell him. If anything happens to him..."

"As I said, Detective. I cannot confirm or deny that Detective Halstead works for us. But..." she raised her hands, a tiny smile appeared on her lips. Hardly enough for Hailey to notice. "But I'll see what I can do."

"Thank you, Sergeant. You don't know how much that means to me. I need to..." Sergeant Lopez had already turned around, so Hailey was alone. Nevertheless, she was relieved. Perhaps there was a tiny chance things would be good again.

* * *

For the moment, however, Hailey didn't have the time to think about Jay anymore. She had to hurry back to 21st, because something came up. Work. For the first time in weeks, she actually looked forward to work. She looked forward to being with her unit, her friends, chasing criminals, doing something meaningful.

Today they were after a murderer, a gang member, who had killed within his own gang. He felt disrespected and murdered a whole family. A relatively easy case, but it helped Hailey find her way back into the unit, into the right mindset. When the day was over, she knew she had accomplished something; she felt better.

Her therapy also slowly kicked in. She realized how her childhood had shaped her. Her father had hit her and her siblings, whenever he had been angry. He hadn't sexually assaulted her or her brothers; but being in constant fear of his rage, of his beatings had done something to her. Furthermore, being a cop hadn't helped her build trust in men either. She had encountered numerous men, who behaved like her father or much worse, and more often than not women and children were the victims. There were people like Booth, whom she had brought behind bars twice. These undercover assignments had taken her toll. Even though Booth was currently in prison, he still haunted her nightmares. All these issues began to unfold, painted a picture of her how her mind worked, which she had ignored for too long. For a long time she always seemed to be ok, full of self-confidence, but inside her was this thing, this mistrust, this fear – everything that had exploded during the case.

And then there was Jay. She talked about him in her sessions too. Jay was different. Yes, they had argued, he had yelled at her too – like that time his father had died, when he had been in terrible shape. They had their problems, too. It had taken them time to be a good team, good friends. But still, Jay was different. And yet she had accused him of being just like these beasts. Even when she had yelled those words at him, she had known that it was wrong, but she hadn't been able to stop herself. It would take a long time before she would sort out everything. But she was determined to do so. And to make up with Jay.

It helped that now she was able to go to Molly's again in the evening. Now that she was back on speaking terms with the others, she once again felt comfortable when she joined them once or twice a week after work. It helped her unwind. Not as much as "the thing" she had with Jay, but it was definitely better than sitting at home alone. Life was almost getting back to normal.


	3. Chapter 3

A few weeks later, they had an important case. A bomb exploded in an indoor market on the South Side. It didn't do as much damage as it could have done, because the timer wasn't set correctly, so it exploded when the market was about to be closed.

Five people died, 20 injured. Still bad enough, but during daytime the count would have been significantly higher. Intelligence was the first on scene, and they would be the ones to lead the investigation.

Together with crime scene specialists they checked the scene thoroughly, found bits and pieces of the bomb, tried to find traces of the bomber, took numerous photos, interviewed bystanders and witnesses.

Some claimed they might have seen a tall, slim man leaving the scene; some claimed he was short; some claimed he was Latino, some claimed he was white and had red hair; some claimed he wore a hoodie. It was very inconclusive so far.

The team did what they always did: Boots on the ground. They talked to CI's, witnesses. checked the internet, waited for lab and ballistics results.

Kim and Hailey were in the office, scanning through masses of social media accounts, fake claims of responsibility, while Kevin and Adam were out on the streets, assisted by several uniformed cops.

"Hey, here's something interesting," Hailey said. Kim was at her side immediately. Hailey pointed at her screen, a text. "Look, Kim. This guy is boasting about planting two bombs in mainly black neighborhoods. And he names the market. This could be something."

"Yeah, it's quite precise. But two bombs? I'll call Voight."

Within seconds, Voight was behind them, reading the text. "This could be our man," he concluded. "Do we know who he is? When and where it was posted?"

"I'll call the IT guys, perhaps they can find out something. This man calls himself 'Wraith', no name, no photo." Hailey said, and already she had her phone in her hand, dialed the IT department.

"Let's check out if this 'Wraith' posted more." Kim suggested, went back to her own desk and her own computer.

"What does it say about the second bomb?" Voight asked. "Do we have a location?"

"No, Sarge," Hailey answered. "Nothing yet."

"I'll still call the Bomb Squad and Firehouse 51, so that they are aware there might be more to come," Voight decided. "Keep checking his social media account."

"Copy that," Hailey and Kim answered, already concentrating on what they saw on their screens.

It didn't take long before IT called back.

"Sarge," Hailey called. "We've got him."

"OK, who is it?"

"We haven't got a name, but a possible location. The post on social media was made from a burner phone, and IT was able to access the GPS data. They show that this 'Wraith' was at the scene. And the data show another possible target, this free clinic on 63rd. The phone was nearby for an hour."

"I'll inform the Bomb Squad," Kim said quickly.

"OK, call Adam and Kevin, Hailey. We'll meet them there. Hit it."

"Copy that, Sarge."

Automatically Hailey looked at Jay's empty desk and felt the familiar pain, but she shook her head. Now was not the time. She grabbed her jacket and the car key, and hurried downstairs with Kim and Voight.

* * *

While Hailey drove to clinic, Kim was still searching through social media. But "Wraith" hadn't posted anything else. Just this one post, full of hatred towards African Americans, and his "actions".

When they arrived at the clinic, it was already closed off, police officers and firefighters guided people outside. Kevin and Adam ran towards them.

"Hey, did you find anything?" Kim asked.

"Not yet," Adam shook his head. Bomb squad is inside, with dogs. If there's a bomb, the dogs will find it."

"OK, check out everyone that came from the clinic, check out the bystanders, everyone who's standing there watching could be our killer."

There was indeed a crowd of people watching. Mostly women and children, a few teenage boys. Adam and Kevin approached the boys, Kim and Hailey the women.

But they were interrupted before they could even start. Someone yelled from the site. They found a bomb. They needed to clear a larger perimeter.

Boden and his team had already started pushing people further away, securing the area. Nobody knew when this bomb was about to explode, they needed to hurry.

They got the all-clear quickly, however. The bomb wasn't too sophisticated, the Bomb Squad could disarm it. While Intelligence talked to the people from the clinic and the other bystanders, the bomb was completely disarmed and partly disassembled, and the parts were transported back to the crime lab.

* * *

The interviews in the street didn't produce any results. Intelligence collected several people's contact data, but that was it. They returned to the office to review all available information.

While they were still filling up the whiteboard with all they had – not exactly much -, the phone rang. Crime lab had found something.

Hailey talked to them, and immediately started writing. When she finished the call, she stood up. "Guys, we've got a trace. They found fingerprints on the second bomb. And this man is in the system."

"Who is it?"

"A man called Frank Myers." Hailey read off her screen. "He's linked to some violent, extremist alt-right group. No current address. No car registered to him."

She printed a photo from her computer, put it up on the whiteboard.

"This is our possible killer."

"What do we have on him?" Voight asked. "No address, no car. Any contacts listed? Anything? Come on guys, we need to hurry."

Hailey scanned the data on her computer. "There is an ex-wife, she lives in Avondale. And a son, who's at University of Chicago. Lives close to the campus."

"Do we have addresses?" Voight asked. "Upton and Ruzek – go check out the son! Burgess, Atwater, you pay the ex-wife a visit."

* * *

Half an hour later Hailey and Adam arrived at the son's apartment.

"Chris Myers!" Adam yelled. "Open the door, Chicago PD."

They heard someone inside, the door opened a bit. "What's this about?" a young man asked.

"Chris Myers?" Adam asked again.

"Yes, that's me. What can I do for you?"

"Would you open the door, please?" Hailey asked politely but assertively. "We need to ask you some questions about your father."

Chris Myers opened the door. He was very slim, tall, had reddish blond hair. On a couch inside there sat a young African American woman. "My father? I haven't heard from him in ages. What has he done?"

"May we sit down?" Hailey asked.

"Sure, sit down. This is my girlfriend, Tyra."

"Hi, Tyra." Adam said. "Chris, do you know where your father is?"

Chris shook his head. "We are not exactly on speaking terms." He pointed at his girlfriend. "My dad doesn't approve."

"I figured that much," Hailey said. "Chris, we need to know where your father is. He's connected to some serious crimes."

"Honestly I don't know. Ever since he's joined Hendricks' group, he has stopped talking to me completely. Not that I'd miss anything."

"Hendricks?" Adam looked up. "You mean James Hendricks? The alt-right prick James Hendricks? With his militia?"

"The exact same one."

"I see. That explains a lot." Adam exhaled audibly.

"What has my father done?" Chris wanted to know.

"We're still figuring that out," Hailey answered.

"Is he responsible for the bombing?"

"We're still investigating," Hailey answered calmly.

"Oh my. Please find him, before he does more!" Chris exclaimed. "That bastard."

"We will do everything possible to find him," Adam said. "Now, if you remember anything else that could lead us to your father, call us directly, ok? Thank you for your help."

* * *

Back in the car, Hailey immediately called Voight, gave him the latest information. It turned out, Myers's ex-wife had said basically the same. No contact with Myers, since he had joined James Hendricks' radical group.

The unit reconvened in 21st.

"So, let's see what we have," Voight started, put a photo on the whiteboard. "A name, a photo. James Myers. White supremacist. No contact to his family. He joined James Hendricks' militia." Another photo on the board – a bald white guy with a beard, tattoos on his neck. "Do we know where Hendricks is? We will only find Myers through him. And perhaps other members of this group are planning more assaults?"

"Sarge, there's an address," Kim said, looking up from her computer screen. "Hendricks owns a cabin in the woods near Fox Lake. Intel says he lives there with other people. Quite a big area."

"Get more information!" Voight immediately ordered. "I will contact the local police. We need to check it out."


	4. Chapter 4

Early the next morning, Intelligence was on the way to Fox Lake. They had agreed with local police to raid Hendricks' cabin.

Cooperation with local police was relatively easy, as Hank Voight knew the responsible commander from old times.

"Hank, good to see you." The commander approached him.

"Good to see you too, Joe." Voight answered, looked at his team and introduced the commander. "Team, that's Commander Joe Hanson. His team will work with us."

"Good morning," Hanson addressed the unit.

"Now, we've all been monitoring Hendricks for a while, but so far there was nothing we could do. No evidence of criminal activities. But we've been waiting for a good reason to get these people. And based on your information, Hank, we were able to get a warrant."

All gathered, were informed about the location, checked the maps, a plan was agreed on how to perform the raid. It was still dark when everyone approached the area surrounding the cabin. There was a fence, cameras, it looked like an army outpost, but not a soul outside.

Nobody stopped them, when they entered the gate.

"Police, open up!" Hanson yelled, as he approached the door.

No answer.

"Open the door, we have a warrant."

Still no answer.

And then everything happened very fast.

They broke down the door, someone inside opened fire, a gunfight started, but the police significantly outnumbered the people inside. Within less than half an hour, everyone in the group was handcuffed. They were all dressed alike, uniform-style. Black denims, heavy boots, light grey shirts.

Hailey recognized Myers, Hendricks… and suddenly her blood froze, yet her skin was flaming hot from adrenaline.

When the captives were lead outside, she suddenly looked into Jay Halstead's face.

She stared into the green eyes she knew so well.

Jay's eyes widened for a second, stared at her intently. _Don't say a word!_ His eyes seemed to beg her. She understood. This was his undercover assignment. It took all her willpower to look away from Jay, to create a slightly bored, annoyed expression in her face. Her mind was racing.

She quickly exchanged a glance with Kevin, who stared back at her, yet kept his composure.

Hailey went outside with the others. Exhaled loudly. Her heart was beating much too fast, someone must notice.

Then she felt a hand on her shoulder. Voight. Not a word, just his hand. She briefly nodded a thank you.

"Listen, we will transport these people to 21st and put them in holding cells. We will interrogate them in connection with the bombing in Chicago. Commander, thank you for your help. If there's anything you need from us, if you need any information or backup, just let us know."

"We will, Sergeant Voight. We're glad to get rid of this scum." Hanson answered. "We will search the premises, and will bring everything that we find to 21st."

* * *

Automatically Hailey sat on the passenger seat of their car, handed Kim the keys. Hailey slumped, terribly exhausted.

Kim looked at her inquiringly. "You ok?"

"No, Kim, I am not." Hailey answered. "Jay was there."

"I know, Hailey."

"Did we put him in danger?"

"No, we didn't. He's still undercover. He will be fine. He'll be in 21st soon."

"He's back."

"No, Hailey, he's not. He's still undercover." Kim said patiently.

Hailey was unable to talk much on the way back to the precinct. Jay was undercover with this alt-right group, and she couldn't blow his cover. But she needed to talk to him. She hoped it would be possible. How would he react? Would he even want to talk to her? Was he ok?

* * *

Back in 21st, she headed straight for Voight's office, but stopped in the doorway. Sergeant Lopez from Organized Crimes was already inside, talking to her boss.

"Sergeant Voight, you stepped into our undercover operation."

"I figured that much, Sergeant Lopez."

"Don't give away our UC's identity. Don't threaten the operation. We've been at it for too long. We need to get Hendricks."

Voight raised his hands. "We're not planning to kill your operation. Halstead is in a holding cell with the others, and we will release him just like the others. Right now we probably can keep only Myers in custody."

"Good."

"We can perform the interrogations together. Or you can watch from the observation room," Voight suggested. "This way you will know everything we find out."

"I would appreciate that."

"But in return I must insist that you let us know your results. We can assist to get Hendricks off the streets."

"OK, agreed. We will work together on this one."

"One more thing." Voight held Lopez back. "We need a few minutes with our Detective."

"Sure, just don't blow his cover."

"We won't. We will get him for an interrogation, but not up here. Not with cameras."

"OK. But give me a few minutes with him, too, before you return him to the others."

Voight gave a slight nod to Hailey, who was still standing in the doorway. She would have her chance. But until that she had to wait. They couldn't bring Jay in at first, that might raise a suspicion. The first one up for interrogation was Myers. As they had enough evidence to keep him, he would not return to the general holding cells. They would immediately charge him with the bomb attack and five casualties and with the attempted attack.

Hailey sat down at her desk, when Adam approached from behind. He put his hands on her shoulders. "You ok, girl?"

She nodded, turned around. "I'm not sure. I will talk to Jay later. I just hope he'll talk to me."

"He will," Adam comforted her. "He will." He pulled her up, took her in his arms. "He will come around. If not he's an idiot."

"But he's not…"

"Shhh, I know."

His embrace felt good, safe. But Adam was not who she needed right now. And Adam knew that too. When they heard steps on the stairs, he pulled back and went back to his own desk. "You'll be fine."

Right now, Hailey wasn't fine. As much as she tried, she worried about seeing Jay face to face after all this time. She hoped he would accept her apology, and would let her talk. She had found out so much about herself and their relationship during her first therapy sessions that she didn't even know where to start or what to tell Jay. At least Voight kept her out of the interrogations, let her do paperwork for the moment.

Finally, Voight approached her. "Hailey, come downstairs with me, please."


	5. Chapter 5

Jay was in a holding cell with the other men from Hendricks' cabin. His mind was racing, but he managed to keep a stoic expression on his face. These men knew he didn't talk much anyway, which was good.

He was back at 21st. Not the way he should be, but back. What would Voight do about his UC assignment? What would Lopez do? Would they pull him out? Would he have to go back in?

What about Hailey?

He wasn't sure if he had done the right thing when he left for this UC assignment. Back then, after Hailey had hit him and yelled at him, he had left, because he didn't want the fight to escalate even more, because he didn't want to yell back at her or worse. She had been in bad shape during the case, and he had been unable to help her. It was partly a feeling of guilt, partly hurt, and partly preventing an even worse fight between the two of them, which caused him to leave so suddenly. He was lucky that Voight agreed immediately. Jay had pulled himself out of this situation, and while he was getting closer and closer to Hendricks and his group, he didn't have much time to think about what had happened. Only at night, when he battled sleeplessness, he kept thinking about Hailey. About how much he missed her friendship, her…

A while ago Lopez had forwarded him a message. An apology. No names, but he knew it came from Hailey.

* * *

"Ryan Hamilton!"

Jay flinched. That was his name, his UC name. Slowly, with a smug look on his face, he approached the door, grinning at the others.

The officer cuffed him and led him outside. Not upstairs to the interrogation rooms, but downstairs.

The cage.

Indeed, they brought him to the cage. Voight and Lopez waited for him, uncuffed him.

"Jay, good to see you." Voight greeted him with a hug.

"Yes, you too, boss." Jay smiled weakly. "Hello Sergeant Lopez. Good to see you, too." They shook hands.

"Jay, we brought you here, because we can't risk cameras during your pretend interrogation," Voight explained.

"You will have to go back in," Lopez said. "We don't have enough on Hendricks yet."

Jay didn't answer.

"Do you have any new information? Did Hendricks know about Myers's plans, did he order the bombing?" Lopez asked.

"I haven't heard him talk about that. Those two were together a lot recently, they discussed a lot of things, but always in private. Hendricks doesn't trust anyone, not even his own guys."

"We need to nail him, find some connections. I'm sure they are planning something." Lopez insisted.

"I know, and I'm sure something is going on." Jay agreed. "I heard some whispers, but nothing is clear yet. You won't find anything in the cabin or on the premises. I know they are gathering weapons, lots of them. They are hidden somewhere outside, somewhere deep in the woods."

"Do you know where the storage is?" Lopez asked.

"Yes, I know. Do you want to go for the weapons?"

"No," Lopez shook her head. "Possession of illegal guns is one thing, but not enough got get this scum off the streets completely. We need more."

"Then I will dig further." Jay agreed.

"Do that," Lopez said. "I will see you in a few days. Good luck, Detective."

As soon as she had left, Voight came closer. "Jay, how are you?"

"Fine, boss. Tough job. This mindset makes me sick, though."

"Yeah. Let's hope they'll move forward soon enough. I need you back in Intelligence."

Jay nodded.

"Jay, be careful," Voight said quietly, and then added: "Please wait here." He turned around and went back upstairs.

What now?

* * *

Hailey felt her knees weakening. She held tight to the handrail when she reluctantly went downstairs. She wanted to run towards Jay, and run away at the same time. This was it.

She entered the room, and there he was. Jay was sitting in the – open – cage, staring at her. Waiting. He seemed calm, but his eyebrows twitched slightly.

"Jay," Hailey whispered.

He stood up, approached her. "Hailey."

He looked different, Hailey noticed. Hair a bit shorter, clean-shaven, not the stubbles she was used to. The uniform-style clothes. A fake tattoo on his arm. Not a nice one, though; white supremacy stuff.

"Jay, can I talk to you, please?"

Jay looked at her. He had missed her, but despite her apology via Lopez, he wasn't sure what to expect. He pointed to the chairs in the middle of the room, sat down.

Hailey pulled the second chair close to his, sat down so close their knees touched, looked into his face.

"Jay, are you ok?"

"Sure. But this is not what we are talking about, right?" Soft, hoarse voice, intense gaze.

"Jay, listen to me. Please forgive me for what I did to you." Hailey started slowly, but once she started, she was unable to stop. "Jay, I'm sorry for hitting you, I'm sorry for yelling at you, for treating you like that. I was completely out of line, totally unfair to you. I know you are not like that guy. I know you are everything he is not. You're the best person I've ever known. You tried to help me. I don't know how I can ever make up for what I did. Please, Jay. Please forgive me. Please come back to Intelligence. I…"

Jay stared at her for a moment. He saw the tears in her eyes. He knew she was sincere. He wanted to forgive her. So badly. In fact, he already had.

"Jay, please," Hailey whispered, stretching out a hand towards him, but pulling it back almost immediately. Afraid.

"Hailey," Jay's voice almost broke. He swallowed hard.

"Jay, please. I`m going to therapy, and I'm working on my issues. And I think I know now why it happened. Why I did this to you out of all people. To you, who I trust more than anyone. My partner, my friend, my…"

Finally Jay moved. He took Hailey's hands in his own. "We're good, Hailey."

"Please say that you forgive me, I need to know you do. I need you to say it."

"Hailey, I forgive you," Jay whispered. "I shouldn't have run away. I'm sorry."

"Jay, you did nothing wrong," Hailey insisted. "This is on me."

"How are you, Hailey?"

That was typical, Hailey thought. "I'm ok. Thinks are slowly getting better."

"Good."

"Jay, I guess I realized a lot about us recently."

"Hailey, not now. Let's talk about this when my assignment is over, ok?"

"But…"

"Please, Hailey." Jay insisted. "We're good. I will come back to Intelligence, to our partnership. Everything else must wait. I need to close this case first."

She looked down, sad, slowly stood up.

Jay stood up too, pulled her close, holding her head against his chest. "Hailey, right now I need to go back undercover and focus on this assignment. We will talk when I'm back. And everything will be ok. I promise."

"OK," she nodded, put her arms around him. It felt so good. "I missed you so much, Jay. Stay safe. And come back soon."

"I will, Hailey. Don't worry, I will always come back to you." He planted a kiss on her head, and pulled back, before he could act on his feelings, that suddenly hit him like a brick. He would come back to her. They would be good, more than good. He made that promise right there.


	6. Chapter 6

Hailey went back upstairs, slowly, reluctantly. She wanted to run back downstairs so desperately it hurt. Yet she was comforted, relieved in a way. Jay had forgiven her. He would be back. Back with her. That was more than what she had hoped for.

On her way back to her office, she stopped at Sergeant Platt's desk.

"Sarge!"

"What is it, Upton? Interesting day?" Trudy asked, pretending not to be interested at all.

"Sarge, I... Thank you."

"For what?"

"You know. For kicking me in the butt."

"Oh. Always a pleasure." Platt grinned. "Want more?"

Hailey laughed. "Things will be good again. Thanks to you."

"No, Hailey. Thanks to you. You did good."

"Jay..."

"I heard." Trudy didn't let her continue. "He'll be back here in no time."

* * *

Jay stared at the cage, lost in his thoughts. He was glad they allowed him to stay here, alone, for at least a few minutes, so that he could calm down. He didn't want to let go of Hailey, didn't want to go back undercover. But that was his job, and he had to go. He had to finish what he had started. Now he had a reason to come back safe and sound, more like before. He would finish this job and then...

Hailey returned to her office, relieved. She hated it that Jay would be gone again, but at least she knew they would be ok. Hopefully the assignment would be over soon. Until then she would have time to work on her issues with her therapists. Perhaps that was good, too. She was determined to take that chance. It would help her, once Jay would be back.

* * *

In the early evening, CPD released Hendricks and most of his men. Only two remained in custody, as CPD had open arrest warrants for them. The others had to be released. And with them Jay. They all left the precinct laughing tauntingly, sure of their victory over the system. Hendricks called a friend to pick them up, and they were back in the cabin in no time.

Jay dreaded being back here, he disliked the people, the cabin, the limited space. Still he knew he had to be attentive, to play along. His feelings had no place here.

On the way back they had stopped at a fast food restaurant, and now they sat in the main room of the cabin, eating their burgers and fries.

"So, Frank's gone," Jay slowly started a conversation. "What now?"

"What do you mean?" a man called Jim asked.

"Well, will we sit here and do nothing?" Jay insisted. "Frank at least tried to do something."

"Why so eager now?" Hendricks interfered.

"Because I'm not on holidays here. I'm getting edgy. If nothing happens, I'll go back to Detroit and my girlfriend and get some action there."

Laughter from everybody.

"You will get enough action soon enough, Ryan." Hendricks grumbled. "Not the kind you get with your chick, but I'm sure you'll like it."

"If you say so." Jay shrugged. "I'd just like to know what to expect."

"First the cops need to calm down again. They surely keep an eye on us right now." Hendricks said, then turned away. A clear sign that this conversation was over.

* * *

Hailey joined the others at Molly's this evening. The four of them stood around a table, away from everyone else, as they didn't want people to overhear their conversation.

"You talked to Jay?" Adam asked.

Hailey nodded, a soft smile on her face. "Yeah, I did."

"How did it go?" Kim pushed. "How is he? And how are you two?"

Hailey nodded again. "He's ok. We're good, I guess."

"That's all you want to tell us?" Adam laughed. "Come on, girl."

"There's not a lot to tell, actually," Hailey said. "We talked, and we're good. His assignment is tough on him though. We only had a few minutes."

"Did he say anything else about this assignment? Does he know how long he will stay there? Are there any leads?" Kim asked.

"You must ask Voight that." Hailey said. "We didn't talk about it. There were more important things…"

"Right," Adam said. "Understood. So we'll have to wait. But, hey, you are good. That's what counts."

"Yeah," Hailey agreed. "I can sleep better now."

Kevin put an arm around her. "He'll be back soon."

"And now let's please stop talking about me," Hailey laughed weakly. "It's already too much for my taste."

* * *

Jay hated the bunk beds. It reminded him of Afghanistan, just without good friends. He didn't have any privacy, couldn't retreat and think, unless he pretended to be asleep. During daytime, he could go outside, check the security features, or sometimes hike in the woods for a few hours. But he couldn't do that too often. The others thought he was strange anyway, he shouldn't overdo it. And perhaps it was for the better that he could not think too much about the conversation with Hailey, about her. It would distract him too much.

It was a strange daily routine. Get up early, then some of the men drove away to work. Others worked in the cabin or outside, mainly improving security. Sometimes they drove into various towns in the neighborhood to stack up on canned food. And sometimes some men simply vanished for a day or two. Jay had been part of the group that hid weapons in the shed deep in the woods. This stock was growing fast, too. All this was a clear indication that something was going to happen. Jay simply wasn't included in the planning. He needed to talk to Lopez, get some information he could feed them. Something that made him more trustworthy. Some bait.

* * *

In 21st the days dragged along. There were no major cases at the moment, only smaller leads to follow. Voight regularly met with Lopez regarding the Hendricks case, but there were no new developments. The team didn't get any information. They knew, however, that Jay was still there and still relatively ok.

Strangely enough, it was Adam who had taken over the "job" of taking care of Hailey. They had become real friends a while ago, and now he was the one to protect Hailey whenever he felt someone treated her badly. Kim and Kevin didn't mind, they supported him, supported Hailey as well. While Hailey appreciated it, she sometimes felt suffocated by the three of them, it was almost too much care. She didn't quite like all the attention. She would have preferred things to be normal again. A major case would be welcome, when there would be no time to fuss about her. However, she kept her mouth shut, didn't want to hurt anybody. And in a way it was kind of nice to have her own security guards.


	7. Chapter 7

Intelligence had been checking all members of Hendricks's group that had to be released together with Jay. At first, they found nothing, but when they didn't expect anything anymore, they got some information.

They had accessed numerous sites on the darknet, managed to find a connection. A man called Joseph Weaver had bought a serious amount of weapons on illegal darknet website; and many of these purchases had taken place just recently.

Another man, Charlie Jackson, had thoroughly checked out locations in the greater Chicago are. They found traces of his searches online, and they could link a burner phone to him. Jay had provided several phone numbers of the burner phones the group had obtained. Most were dead, but this one was in use. The GPS data showed where Jackson had been in Chicago. It seemed that he had checked out several larger sports venues, all in the mainly African American areas of town.

As soon as Intelligence had found that out, they contacted Lopez for a joint meeting.

* * *

In the morning, when Hailey came to work, Lopez was already in Voight's office, door closed. She looked at the others, but received a shrug from Adam for an answer.

"They were in there when I arrived."

They didn't have to wait long, though. After a few minutes, Voight and Lopez came out of Voight's office. Voight approached the whiteboard.

"Good morning," he murmured. "Sergeant Lopez will fill you in on our newest intel."

Lopez nodded. "Yes. Good morning, guys. With your help, we could find out in what direction Hendricks wants to move. We are closely monitoring Weaver and Jackson now; they are our best leads. However, we don't have any dates or details for whatever Hendricks has planned. So far, we assume they want to do something at a sports event on the South Side. We will need Detective Halstead's input for details. Therefore, we will set up a trap, with his knowledge, so he can gain Hendricks' trust. He will tell Hendricks and the others about a planned arrest, so that Halstead can warn the man. We hope that after this, he will be further in on the plans."

"Will we perform the arrest, or will your team do it?" Adam asked.

"My men will do it." Lopez answered.

"How is Jay?" Kim wanted to know.

"He's ok. Waiting for some action." That was all that Lopez told Intelligence.

* * *

Later this week, Lopez met with Jay. They met in a diner, where they both sat at the counter having breakfast. Always a new location, always as inconspicuous as possible.

"Any news, Detective?" Lopez asked, while looking at her food with more interest than it deserved.

"Something is in the pipeline, I feel it. But I'm not in, yet." Jay said quietly. "Do you have anything for me?"

"Actually yes. We are planning to arrest Patrick Reaves at his job in two days. I would recommend you tell him, so he can get rid of all incriminating evidence, so that we will have to let him go again. Or tell him to go into hiding. Whatever you think is best."

"I'll tell him to not go into work that day," Jay answered slowly. "We can call his workplace later and get a confirmation that the cops were looking for him. He has an official address in the city. You can bust that, too. And we will hear of it."

"Copy that." Lopez agreed.

They finished eating their breakfast in silence.

When Lopez was about to get up, Jay stopped her. "How's my team?"

"They are good. Waiting for you to come back."

"Thanks, Sarge."

* * *

Jay returned to the cabin, and immediately searched for Hendricks. He was outside checking an old pick-up truck.

"James," Jay yelled across the area. "Can we talk?"

Hendricks looked up from his truck. "What is it?"

Jay approached. "I heard something. The cops want to bust Patrick. On Thursday."

"How do you know that?" Hendricks looked irritated.

"I got friends," was all Jay chose to say – and it wasn't untrue.

"What exactly do you know?"

"Well, a buddy of mine got word that the police wants to bust Pat on Thursday at his workplace. It seems someone told them he's got illegal guns, which are connected to a robbery."

"Interesting." Hendricks mumbled. "Wonder how they know. Well, we will talk to Pat. We can't risk him being arrested right now. We need him."

"OK, I'll talk to him when he comes back," Jay decided.

Finally, something was happening.

Jay and Hendricks sat together with Pat Reaves, and they agreed that he would stay in the woods on Thursday, not go into work. He would also remove evidence from his apartment in the city immediately.

Hendricks wasn't completely sure if Jay's information was correct, so on Thursday morning he had some men he knew – none that currently lived in the cabin – watch both Reaves' workplace and his apartment.

* * *

They met with two of them later, Hendricks, Reaves, Jay, and these two guys. They reported that in fact police had been to Reaves' work and to his home. The cops had taken away a computer, papers, but nothing else.

Hendricks just listened to this, not commenting at all.

Jay hoped that the plan would work and this would increase Hendricks' trust in him. But this would take a few more days. He was tense. It would be so much easier if he had someone to confide in.

* * *

The next week, his patience was rewarded. One evening, Hendricks called the group for a meeting in the cabin. Two more men were present.

"Men, we will strike soon. We've established a target, and we will hit in a few days."

Hendricks paused, looked around. Then he pointed at a map of Chicago.

"There will be a big basketball tournament this weekend, and we decided to scare some people off. Any objections?"

Nobody objected. Hendricks, assisted by the two unknown men, started explaining the plan. This following weekend there would be an all-day basketball tournament for schoolchildren, and they had agreed to plant bombs in the area. Furthermore, a group of them would approach with guns, stop people from leaving when it happened. Inwardly Jay shuddered. This sounded huge, scary. As if they were planning a war. Of course, to them it was a war.

He listened attentively, tried to memorize as much as possible. Right now they only received basic information, at a later stage each team would get their specific orders.

Jay's thoughts were racing. It was clear that he wouldn't have an opportunity to meet with Lopez before the weekend. It would be too obvious if he left alone, and he was sure he was still under surveillance. Hendricks was generally suspicious of everybody; he wouldn't allow anyone of his group to go out alone before the planned attack. Jay would have to be especially careful. He couldn't use his phone in the cabin, or when he was outside with the others. He needed to find an opportunity quickly, so that Organized Crime could prepare for the operation.

* * *

One day later he had his chance. He was on his way into Chicago with three others, for a meeting with further members of the group. They met in an old warehouse. Jay had to check the area, and while he was alone outside, he managed to send a text message from his UC phone to Lopez. He requested her to call back later, as a confirmation. They always did it like this. She pretended to be his girlfriend from Detroit, he would say a few words, and both would know what they needed to know.

Once he had checked the premises, he rejoined the others, listening to the conversation. More details for the weekend.

On their way back, Jay's phone rang. "Hey, Ann," he answered. "What's up?"

"Hey Ryan," Lopez answered. "Any news on when you will be back?"

They just exchanged a few words, and in the end, Jay knew that Lopez had received his message, all details, and that CPD would be prepared. If either of them found out more, they would share the information.

* * *

Voight returned from a meeting with Lopez, back to 21st. They had agreed on basic issues for next Saturday, when they would try to prevent an attack.

The team listened attentively. They would all participate in the operation. Kevin and two guys from Organized Crime would be inside the Basketball arena.

Everyone else would wait outside, within a two-block radius, together with a SWAT team and Organized Crime.

* * *

Hailey was nervous. This would be it. One way or the other this would be the end of Jay's undercover assignment. It would be a tough day. They needed to stop Hendricks before anything could happen. And they needed to get Jay out late enough that he could gather evidence, and soon enough that he wouldn't be harmed. Hailey knew she would have no problem concentrating on the operation, once she was there. Still, she was anxious. But it would be over soon, that was the good part.


	8. Chapter 8

Very early on Saturday morning, Intelligence, Organized Crime and the SWAT Team met in a central police station, not too far away from the target. They had received confirmation from Jay that Hendricks' group would do everything just as planned.

The Bomb Squad approached the area first with their dogs, hidden in a delivery truck. With the bomb squad, Intelligence entered the building. They would be the ones to secure the area, to make sure they weren't being watched. Organized Crime and the SWAT team would wait outside, well hidden in adjacent buildings.

They quickly found the bombs and defused them just as quickly. Now they all had to wait.

* * *

Two hours before the tournament was about to start, people were already gathering. The players and families, the first spectators. They needed to have their eyes everywhere. Kevin and two cops from Organized Crime mixed with the spectators and families of the players, the rest remained hidden in the background.

Hailey was tense, yet as tired as she had been earlier when she woke up, she was very much awake now. She disliked waiting like everybody else, but that didn't matter. They had to prevent people from being killed, and they needed to collect enough evidence, so that the whole group would be in prison for a long time. They couldn't just arrest them before anything happened. That was the dangerous part. They needed to let them come close, to the point when they were about to hit. And still not close enough to actually kill innocent people.

* * *

Jay was as tense as Hailey, when he prepared for the hit. He had left the cabin for good. He didn't leave behind anything but ugly, dirty clothes. Nothing that could lead to his true identity.

The group had been up all night. Two men had already planted the bombs, returned, and after that, they all drove to the area in three beat-up old vans. All had assault rifles with them, wore vests. Jay also had his own gun hidden in the ankle piece.

Jay didn't recognize the parts of Chicago at first, but then was relieved that they drove right to the place they had talked about before. It had briefly crossed his mind that this could be a trap, a fake target just to put him or anyone else off the actual target. But Hendricks didn't think that far. The vans all arrived in the vicinity of the basketball arena in time. Everything seemed to go as planned. But Jay would prevent them from being successful, he and his colleagues. It felt a bit like in Afghanistan: He didn't have time to think about anything but the operation. He was wide awake. All his senses were on alert. He knew he would notice any irregularities, any problems. And he knew he would do his job.

The tournament was scheduled to start at 11 am; the bombs were set to explode at 11:30. Hendricks had planned that they would leave the vans when the bombs had detonated, and they would attack the people fleeing the scene. They waited close to the three main entrances.

However, at 11:30 nothing happened.

It was a difficult situation for the police. The bombs didn't explode, which was good. Therefore, no panic broke out and nobody ran to escape the building. Therefore, they didn't know what Hendricks' group would do. Would they storm the arena or would they leave?

If they just left, there would not be enough evidence against the whole group. If they decided to attack there would most probably be innocent victims.

Suddenly somewhere shots were fired. It was completely unclear, who fired the shots, but now everything started. Panic broke out in the arena, at least in the area where they heard the shots. People tried to hide, to escape.

Hendricks' group saw their chance; they stormed out of their hiding places, fired shots at the people that came running out of the building. Immediately police was everywhere, they outnumbered the attackers by far.

Quickly, without many more shots being fired, 30 people were arrested.

Jay had reacted quickly when he saw that they were surrounded by the police. He had pulled back instinctively, watched the group. That was exactly the right thing to do, because he could see Hendricks escape to the side, undetected by the other cops.

He ducked away, followed Hendricks, who was on his way to an abandoned house. He clearly wanted to escape. That wouldn't happen, he wouldn't let that happen.

Jay followed him, hoping he wouldn't be the only one.

When the Intelligence unit heard the shots, they left their hiding places quickly. As no offenders were inside the building, they hurried outside, watched how a large group of armed men was arrested. Out of the corner of her eye, Hailey noticed someone moving. Jay! Clearly following someone.

"Adam, Kim!" Hailey tried to get the attention of her friends. She pointed at Jay and the shadow of the person he was following. She noticed that someone was also following Jay.

Adam and Kim nodded. The three of them would back up Jay. Quietly they made their way to the building, into which the three people had vanished.

Inside it was quite dark, and there was a long hallway leading into several large rooms – they didn't know the layout, so they had to go by sight and sound.

The three of them split up, still connected via their radios. Quietly they gave feedback to Voight, who was still outside.

Jay was following Hendricks inside the building. Did Hendricks know if there was another exit, or did he try to find a hiding place? Suddenly he heard someone behind him, the clicking of a gun. He looked back, saw Pat Reaves several feet behind him, his gun directed towards him. Jay froze.

Hailey followed her gut feeling, towards one of the rooms, when she saw something – someone. A man with drawn gun. Carefully she approached, hiding behind some old pallets.

"Don't move, Ryan!" Reaves yelled.

"Freeze!" Hailey yelled at the same time, pointing her gun at Reaves.

Reaves flinched, fired a shot, and immediately Hailey fired. Reaves slumped on the ground.

"Jay, you ok?" Hailey yelled, running out of her cover. Reaves didn't move, so she kicked his gun away and ran to where she thought Jay was. She found him on the floor, bleeding.

Jay heard Reaves yell at him, then heard Hailey. He saw that Reaves was about to shoot, so he tried to duck away. Not soon enough, though, he suddenly dropped to the floor – not quite realizing what happened.

Suddenly he saw Hailey's face close to his.

"Jay," Hailey just said, then her face vanished from his view.

"Adam, Kim. Over here!" she yelled, after that she talked into her radio, requesting an ambulance.

For him?

He felt something, hands on his leg, applying pressure to his thigh. And now he noticed pain. He was shot?

Everything was a bit blurry – the shock, he supposed. The one thing he realized was that Hailey was there. He closed his eyes.

Jay was losing a lot of blood; Hailey was panicking, put pressure on the wound in his thigh. She prayed that the bullet hadn't touched an artery.

"Jay, stay with me," she whispered, begged him. "Jay!"

There was a hand on her shoulder.

"Hailey, the paramedics will be here any second," Kim said, calming her down.

Hailey didn't listen.

Someone pushed her aside. A paramedic. She recognized Sylvie Brett.

Reluctantly Hailey let go of Jay's leg, but didn't move. Nobody would make her leave Jay's side. Brett and Foster noticed and didn't object, they just softly moved her aside so they could treat Jay.

"Hailey, we got them," Kim said, her hand again on Hailey's shoulder.

"All of them? And the guy who shot Jay?"

"He didn't make it. Good shot." Kim confirmed. "Adam got Hendricks. Nobody escaped, they are all in custody."

"Good," Hailey nodded, looked at Jay, who by now lay on a stretcher.

"Go with him," Kim said. "I'll tell Voight."


	9. Chapter 9

Brett and Foster drove Jay and Hailey to Med, where Jay went into surgery immediately. The shot went through, but he had lost a lot of blood, just as Hailey had assumed.

To Hailey it felt like hours. She had barely left the waiting area, went to the bathroom only long enough to change into a new shirt Kim brought her, clean up all of Jay's blood that was still on her hands, arms and in her face. She kept pacing up and down.

The whole unit waited with her, and also Will, Brett and Foster. The family. Yet she didn't let anyone close, not even Voight. She didn't want to be calmed down, she wanted to feel bad. She felt responsible for Jay's injury. After all, it was her fault that he went on the UC assignment in the first place. Even though she knew he would be ok, she wanted to feel the pain inside her in some twisted way, wanted to punish herself.

The others watched her, watched out for her, and would be there whenever she needed them.

Voight stepped out of the waiting room in the meantime, because Lopez arrived. She quickly updated him on the results. He would share the news with the unit later on.

Finally, nurses returned Jay from the OR and brought him into a room. Will went in first, hesitated, then took Hailey with him. Will sat on one side of Jay's bed, Hailey on the other. Jay was still unconscious, looked so pale. It was hard for Hailey to look at him.

Will smiled at her. "He will be ok, Connor just confirmed it. The surgery went well. He just needs to rest."

"Thanks," Hailey smiled back weakly, taking Jay's hand.

"He will be out for at least one more hour and needs to sleep. You can go home and rest."

"No, I will stay," Hailey answered. "I will watch out for him."

"OK," Will shrugged. Partners. "I'll need to get back to my patients, since my brother is in good hands. But whatever you need, if anything happens, call me."

Once Will had gone, Voight entered. "You ok, Hailey?"

"Yes, Sarge, thank you."

"You did a good job today. Both of you."

"Thank you, Sarge."

"I assume you'll stay?"

"Yes, if I may. Please, Boss."

Voight raised his hands. "I didn't suggest you leave. It's good you're here. Call me once he wakes up. I'll come."

Hailey nodded.

She barely noticed that Kim, Kevin and Adam also entered, talked to her, hugged her.

* * *

Only when she was alone with Jay, she noticed how exhausted she was. She still held his hand in both her hands, but finally allowed herself to close her eyes. It was quiet, it was over, she could relax now.

Suddenly she flinched. Jay's hand moved ever so slightly. He was waking up. Hailey was looking forward to it, but was also afraid. How would he react? Would they talk right now or...? She almost wanted to run, but knew she needed to stay. Wanted to stay.

Jay woke up reluctantly, slowly. He wasn't sure where he was, what had happened. He felt a dull pain in his leg, noticed that someone held his hand. Where was he?

Without realizing it, he sighed, opened his eyes. White ceiling, beeping noise. He was in a hospital? He remembered being in the building, following Hendricks. Nothing else.

Slowly he moved his head to the side, saw Hailey staring at him. She looked exhausted.

"Hailey," he whispered, immediately coughed.

"Jay, you're awake." She let go of his hand, gave him some water. "Here, drink."

"What happened? Did we get Hendricks?"

"Yes, Jay. Thanks to you." Hailey confirmed. "They are all in custody. And the guy that shot you in the thigh, he didn't make it."

"Did you?"

"Yeah, I shot him." Hailey grinned weakly. "I couldn't let him harm you. Sorry he got to shoot at all."

Jay smiled. "Thanks. What else?"

"Voight will give us the details later. You need to recover first."

"Thank you for being here," Jay said. "I'm glad it's you." He coughed again.

"Sshh, stop talking. All that can wait. Sleep now."

"Will you stay? Please?" Like a scared boy.

"Of course, Jay," she smiled. "As long as you want me to. I'll go outside quickly and call the others to let you know you're ok." She briefly caressed his hair, then got up.

Jay could hardly keep his eyes open, watched her leave. Please come back, he thought.

* * *

Outside Hailey called Voight, told him that Jay had woken up, that he was sleeping now. That she would stay with him at least until the next morning.

When she was done, Connor Rhodes was standing in front of her.

"Hailey, are you ok?"

"Sure, of course. Connor, is Jay going to be ok?"

"Absolutely. No muscles, no nerves, no artery hit, just a nasty flesh wound and blood loss. You don't need to worry."

"Thank you. Does Will know?"

"Of course. Now you can go home, you know that? He will sleep until morning."

She shook her head. "I won't leave him. I promised."

"I see," Connor smiled, called the nurse. "Could you bring a second bed into the room for the Detective, please? She insists that she'll stay and watch over Halstead."

Hailey smiled. "Thank you, Connor."

"No problem at all. You should rest too."

Hailey waited until the bed was in Jay's room. That was perfect; she could stay close to Jay, and wouldn't need to sit in the chair all night long. She was sure she wouldn't sleep. Yet of course once she lay down, she was fast asleep.

* * *

In the morning she woke up, when she heard a soft laugh.

"Hey, sleeping beauty," Jay said. "Are you injured too?"

"Only my heart," she said, before she could stop herself. Wait – what did she say? She shook her head, sat up. "Morning Jay. So, you're feeling better? No fever?"

"I'm fine, Hailey." he said, ignoring her first – sleepy – comment.

"Good." She stood up, looked down herself. "Oh my, I need a shower – and fresh clothes."

Jay smiled, following her gaze. "You look perfect, Hailey. Thanks for staying with me."

When a nurse appeared and checked on Jay, Hailey called Voight.

* * *

Within half an hour, Sergeant Platt arrived to keep Jay company.

"You can go home, Hailey," she decided. "I will stay as long as it takes."

"Thanks, Trudy."

Jay looked at her. "Sergeant, that's not necessary." He was a bit embarrassed. It was ok that Hailey was with him, but he didn't want to burden anybody else.

"No chance, Halstead. I'll stay." Trudy said, no protest accepted.

* * *

Hailey knew she could take her time, but she drove home fast, only took a brief shower, changed into fresh clothes, and was on her way back right away. In the meantime she had called Voight again, to let him know that Jay was awake and fine.

When she was back in Med, after littler more than an hour, Voight and the team were already waiting for her outside of Jay's room. Trudy was with them. A doctor Hailey didn't recognize checked Jay.

"You ok? Could you sleep a bit?" Adam asked.

"Yes, they gave me my own bed."

"Wow. What did you do to Dr. Rhodes?" Kevin joked.

"No idea. I guess he felt pity for me." Hailey smiled weakly. "So, what's the latest on the case?"

"Let's wait until we can go into Jay's room," Voight said. "I'll give all of you an update."

As soon as the doctor had left Jay's room, they went inside. The room was crowded, but nobody cared. Jay sat upright in his bed, looking well and awake.

Hailey automatically sat down in the chair closest to his bed.

"You ok, Jay?" Voight asked after everyone had briefly talked to Jay.

Jay nodded. "I will be, Boss. How's the case?"

"Lopez dropped by yesterday. Case is closed." Voight told him. "Hendricks and his men are all in custody. Nobody escaped. There was only one casualty, this Reaves, who shot at you. A few people were injured, when they ran out of the arena, but nothing serious."

"Can we make a case against Hendricks?" Jay wanted to know. "Do I have to testify?"

"The State Attorney will bring charges against him and the group. We gathered enough evidence to put them behind bars for a long time. I don't know if your testimony will be required, we will see about that. Still, your undercover work was crucial to the investigation. It wouldn't have been possible without you."

"Thanks, Sarge."

"But don't leave us again," Kim said. "No long undercover missions for another department, ok?"

Jay laughed. "OK, Kim. If you insist."

"Jay, we need you back in Intelligence," Voight said. "You know that. You did a good job undercover, but we missed you."

Much to his own surprise, Jay blushed. He didn't react well to praise.

"So, how long will you stay in hospital?" Adam wanted to know.

"Two – three days."

"And then you'll take a few days off, until your leg is healed." Voight insisted. "No discussion. Now, let's go. There's work to do."

"Boss…" Hailey quietly said.

"I'll see you tomorrow in the office, Hailey," Voight just said with a nod.

* * *

That left Jay and Hailey alone in his room.

"Thank you for staying," Jay slowly said. "You ok?"

"Sure. And you?"

"Yeah."

Both looked at each other.

"So, the case is over," Hailey reluctantly said.

"And I'm back," Jay answered. "As promised."

Hailey looked at him, unsure. "So…" Her heart pounded, she felt butterflies in her stomach. "I'm so glad you're back."

Jay nodded, "We still need to talk, Hailey."

"I know." She looked down. "Jay, I'm sorry for…"

"Stop, Hailey," Jay interrupted her, put a hand on hers. "That's over and forgotten. No more apologies. We need to talk about us."

She stared at him, into his sincere green eyes, slowly nodded. "I know. But it's not easy."

"Yes, it is." Jay said softly. "It is easy, because we've both known it for a long time. Hailey, I left, because I was hurt that you treated me like that, me – who has always been there, who has always tried to protect you, to… I didn't want to react the same way. Because that would have destroyed everything. I didn't want to be angry at you. That's why I left. And I missed you so much. When we met at 21st, I knew we were going to be fine, and that I wanted to come back to you."

"Jay, I still feel so bad for hurting you," Hailey said. "You out of all people. Because you mean so much to me. I can't imagine my life without you."

Jay took her hands, pulled her closer, so that she came to sit next to him on his bed. "Hailey, perhaps we both needed all this to realize it." He stared at her, swallowed hard. "Hailey, you're more than a partner to me. More than a friend."

Hailey just stared at him, decided she had to do something, and she leaned over to kiss him. Finally.

Jay put his arms around her, kissed her back without hesitation.

They were always going to be good, better than good.


End file.
